How to make trans and non-binary friends

Why friends who get it matter

Friends who understand your experience make everyday life lighter. You do not have to explain your pronouns, your name or why a certain bar feels tense. You can just be there.

Finding those friends takes a little effort, especially in a new city or a smaller town. These are places where trans and non-binary people often meet.

Where to start

• Trans and non-binary community groups. Many LGBTQ+ centres run peer groups, social nights and drop-ins. See how to find trans friendly spaces for the signals that a space is genuinely welcoming.
• Interest groups first. A board game night, choir, climbing group or craft circle that describes itself as trans inclusive gives you something to do while you get to know people.
• Queer sports. Many queer leagues and run clubs have clear inclusion policies. See queer sports clubs and run groups.
• Online communities with a local side. Groups that also meet in person turn chat into real friendships faster.
• Volunteering. Pride committees, community kitchens and peer support projects bring people together around a shared goal.

Using apps for friendship

Some apps are built mainly for dating, which can turn friendship into an afterthought. On Waimz you can switch dating off and use Communities and Places to meet people and plan nights out. Gender identity and pronouns are optional, and you decide what is visible.

Whatever you use, look for clear community guidelines, block and report tools, and settings that let you control what you share.

Turning a hello into a friendship

• Show up to the same group more than once. Familiarity does a lot of the work.
• Suggest something specific: a coffee before next week's meetup, a walk, a film.
• Share a little about yourself, at your own pace.
• Keep in touch between meetups with a simple message.
• Invite one new person into your plans each month.

Look after yourself

You never owe anyone your history or your medical details. Meet new people in public first, tell a friend where you are going, and leave any space that does not feel right. Our dating safety tips apply to new friendships too.