How to host your own queer meetup

Why host at all

At some point most of us think the same thought: I wish there was a night for people like me, in my part of town, that was not a club. The secret is that most of the queer events you love started with exactly that thought and one person willing to book a table. You do not need a venue, a budget or a following. You need a format, a date and the nerve to post about it.

Hosting also solves your own problem. The host never has to work out who to talk to. Everyone talks to the host.

Pick a format you can repeat

The best meetups are small, regular and specific. Specific gives people a reason to come; regular lets friendships form; small keeps it manageable for you.

• A coffee morning or brunch, the lowest-pressure option there is.
• A walk that ends at a café, which suits mixed ages and anyone who finds sitting face to face intense.
• A board game or quiz night in a pub's back room.
• A book, film or podcast club with one thing to discuss.
• A craft, cooking or language exchange evening.
• A run or a swim followed by food. See our guide to queer sports clubs and run groups for how these grow.
• A themed night for a specific group: bi and pan people, queer parents, newcomers to the city, trans and non-binary folks, older queer adults.

Venues that welcome groups

You are looking for a place that is happy to have a group sit for two hours, that feels safe for queer people, and that is easy to reach and to leave. Queer bars and cafés are the obvious start and are usually glad of weekday business. Community centres often let rooms cheaply or free. Libraries, arts centres and bookshops host clubs. Parks and beaches cost nothing.

• Ask the venue first. Explain the format, the day and roughly how many people. Most will reserve a corner and some will promote you.
• Check the toilets and the step-free access, and say what you found in the listing.
• Pick a spot where people can see the group as they walk in. Bring a small sign or a flag for the table.
• Our city guide is a good place to find welcoming venues in the cities we cover.

Keep it safe and inclusive

• Write a short code of conduct and put it in the event description: respect names and pronouns, ask before touching, no harassment, hosts can ask anyone to leave.
• Say who the event is for and mean it. "All LGBTQ+ people and allies" and "queer women, trans and non-binary people" are both fine; be clear.
• Have a second host or a trusted regular so that one of you can step out with someone who needs a word.
• Do not publish the exact table or your home address publicly; share details with people who have signed up.
• Make it easy to come alone: name badges, a host who greets everyone at the door, one question for the whole group in the first ten minutes.
• Keep alcohol optional. Alcohol-free options and daytime slots widen your room. Our safety page has more on looking after people.

Promoting it without stress

You do not need a brand. You need the information in the places your people already look. Post the time, place, format, who it is for and how to find the group, with a photo of the venue rather than a poster. Put it on the community centre noticeboard, in the local queer bookshop, and in existing communities and groups where that is welcome. Ask the venue to mention it. Ask the first few people who come to bring one friend next time.

Expect a small turnout at first and treat a handful of people as a success. A handful who come back are worth a crowd who came once.

On the night

• Arrive first, claim the table, put up the sign, order something so the staff know you are real.
• Greet every person at the door and introduce them to one other person by name. That is most of hosting.
• Have one gentle opening question ready for the group, then let it go where it goes.
• Watch for the person standing at the edge and bring them in.
• End on time, say when the next one is, and thank the venue loudly.

Growing it slowly

Keep the same day, the same place and the same format for several months before you change anything. Let regulars take on small jobs. Resist the urge to make it bigger; make it reliable instead. The groups that last are the ones people can count on.

Waimz™ users cannot create communities inside the app yet, but you can meet the people who will come to your table through the existing communities and places near you, and point them to your night when you do. Read more in our FAQ.